The Most Capable Women I Know Often Doubt Themselves the Most
Why self-trust becomes so difficult during career and life transitions
One thing I've noticed over the years, both in coaching and in my own life, is that being capable doesn't necessarily make decisions easier.
In fact, some of the most thoughtful, resourceful, and capable women I know are also the ones who question themselves the most.
They've built careers.
Raised families.
Moved countries.
Started over more than once.
Learned new skills.
Adapted to change.
Figured things out.
And yet when it comes to making decisions about themselves, I often hear things like:
"I keep going around in circles."
"What if I make the wrong decision?"
"I should know by now."
"I feel stuck."
"I know things can't stay as they are, but I'm not sure what comes next."
I've had versions of some of those conversations with myself too.
Why does this happen?
I don't think it's because we lack capability.
Many of us have spent years being thoughtful, responsible, and dependable. We know how to gather information, think things through, and consider different perspectives.
But they can also make it harder to hear ourselves.
Especially when there isn't an obvious right answer.
Especially when the question becomes: What do I want?
Many of the women I work with have spent years making decisions in environments where there were expectations, deadlines, performance reviews, and people to consult.
Then they arrive at a point where nobody can tell them what the right answer is.
Stay or leave?
Start the business or keep it as an idea?
Take the opportunity or wait?
There isn't a spreadsheet, a manager, or a checklist that can make the decision for them.
And that's often where the overthinking begins.
The challenge isn't always knowing
Many of the women I work with already know more than they give themselves credit for.
Some know they have outgrown a role.
Some know they want to start something of their own.
Some know they want work that feels different.
More creativity.
More freedom.
More space.
What they often question is their own judgment.
So they keep thinking, researching, weighing every option, and trying to find certainty before they move.
The cost is that life can start to feel like it is happening mostly in your head.
Ideas stay ideas.
Decisions stay decisions waiting to be made.
Months pass.
Sometimes years.
What I see instead
More often, people start moving forward when they begin paying attention to things they had been dismissing for a long time.
The idea that keeps coming back.
The role that no longer fits.
The project they can't stop thinking about.
The part of them that keeps saying, "There has to be something more."
And then they begin experimenting.
A conversation.
A course.
A project.
A decision.
A boundary.
They don't know exactly where it will lead.
What they do know is that staying where they are no longer feels right.
One of my clients recently said:
"I no longer feel like I'm trying to become an entrepreneur. I am one."
The business result was wonderful.
What stayed with me was how she saw herself.
For a long time, she was building it.
Learning.
Testing.
Taking small steps.
And then one day, something shifted.
It no longer felt like she was trying.
It felt natural.
What seems to help
Over the years, I've noticed a few things that people often find useful.
Paying attention to what keeps returning.
Talking things through with someone they trust.
Trying something small instead of waiting for certainty.
Noticing where they feel energized and where they feel drained.
Remembering that very few important decisions come with guarantees.
At some point, there is only so much thinking we can do.
Some things we only learn by trying them.
A question for you
What is one area of your life or work where you already know more than you're giving yourself credit for?
You don't have to answer it right away.
But it might be worth sitting with.
And if you've found yourself thinking:
"I should know by now."
"I keep going around in circles."
"I know things can't stay as they are."
Perhaps you've already noticed more than you're giving yourself credit for.
If this resonates, I'd love to hear what came up for you.
You can reach me at hello@createwithmarcela.com.
Sometimes a conversation helps us hear what we've known all along.
About Marcela
Marcela Kratochvilova is an ICF-certified coach who helps thoughtful, capable women navigate career transitions, build businesses, and create next chapters that feel more like their own.
Drawing on more than 30 years of experience across healthcare, life sciences, private industry, and international organizations, she helps clients reconnect with their own wisdom and move forward in a way that feels right for them.
When she's not coaching, you'll often find her travelling, playing tennis, or walking around a park in search of the perfect bird photograph.
Learn more at www.createwithmarcela.com.
